Recently I was talking to an orphanage director. In 2014 a total of 470 children were abandoned in their orphanage’s baby hatch alone. 470 children. That’s 940 parents; 1880 grandparents. A few of the children were babies but most were a little older with downs syndrome, cerebral palsy, autism, and other issues. Parents had traveled from all over the province to drop off their child in a safe place with the hopes that the child would get medical treatment and possibly adopted internationally. Parents were in tears, travel worn and without hope. This was their last resort.
I’ve talked with many people about these hatches. Often people say that the Chinese want perfect children. But love doesn’t work that way. Love is wanting the beloved and wanting the best for the beloved. It takes a great love to surrender your child when you cannot offer them what they need. The irony is that by the time a child is surrendered, the ailment has been untreated for so long it is difficult to reverse. An older child is harder to adopt. The parents resort to abandonment in hopes their child will have a better life. By the time the child is abandoned the hopes the parents had for them are often difficult to achieve.
How bad would it have to be before you would abandon your child?